I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
