guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm really busy with my period
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