disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
