Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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