I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
