he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
