we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
