he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
