He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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