Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
