I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
