Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
In America we eat man semen.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
