Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
