Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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