Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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