my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
