I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Randomize
