I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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