I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
