my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize