i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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