So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
