i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
