That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
