This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
