All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
