she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
