Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
