I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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