are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
