Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
