yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
