Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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