My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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