god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
