Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
