I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
