it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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