The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
