his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
