I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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