he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize