I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
