I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
