I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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