I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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