Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize