the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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