His pubic hair was longer than his dick
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
