Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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