he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
