Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
