The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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