I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
