if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
