proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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