u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was born a porn star she said
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
