Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
