and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
