can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
