Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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