We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize