I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
