The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
