Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
