I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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