I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
