If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
